Vegas, Truly a Wonderful Hell-Hole.

The trunk of the car looked like a mobile police narcotics lab. We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a salt shaker half full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers . . . and also a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of Budweiser, a pint of raw ether and two dozen amyls . . . Not that we needed all that for the trip, but once you get locked into a serious drug collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can. The only thing that really worried me was the ether. There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of an     
                                                                                                       ether binge. And I knew we'd get into that rotten stuff pretty soon.

Lets Get Fucked Up

31 days of fucked up'ed'ness is upon us.

Its my birthday soon

And as I turn a year older, 57, To be exact; I still can't help but feel excited.

What awaits me in these new waters of age and wisdom.

Is this when Jameson stops tasting like Jameson, and Starts tasting like candy.

Is this when tequila is commonly  gulped before 9 am?

Do I now get to gamble with my pants off?

Can I masturbate in Church yet?

If a Korean gets on a train in Boston with only 85 dollars and with a height under 4'1''
And an italien can't smell burning eggs in the winter

Do I use club soda to remove that stain?

These are all questions Ive been aching to answer, and answering is aching my old balls.

Lets all get fucked up these coming 31 days

and remember the good times with friends and families,

 Put on your blackout eyes
its time to see your future

My Get Rich Plan: Update.

So people are gonna have to call me the flood starter, cause I make it rain.

If you blumpkins that happen to read this piece of shit blog can lay down the pipe and remember back to my first post~~~I said I was gonna be a trizillionaire soon thanks to e-earnings.

I am on my way, folks.

I can make Forbes listed motherfuckers look like penny pushers. That's right, I just broke the .03 earnings mark. I am rolling in the dough. I just bought lil-wayne's grill, his car, his company, his girl, his mama, is poppa, nicki minaje, drake....and all those young moolah yahoos.

 Lil Wizzy, tryin to figure out where his grill is.


In other news....

Bears and Packers are playing Sunday.

I went to the local mob bosses to take out a hit on the whole packers team, then i went to my bookie to drop some crop on the bears to win.

Oh boy.

packers will be swimming with fishy's, I will be swimming with Jessica Alba and Nathalie Portman.

As Dave Chappelle once said,"IMMMMM RICCCCCHHHHHHH, BITCHHHH." 

Look ma, no hands!

Over NYE I was in Peru in a very fancy club called Allure.

I was with Leo DiCaprio.

That guy is fucking crazy. After drinking what could have been 3 to 12 bottles of Andre (great Champagne), we started snorting lines of hot sauce to keep us awake. Little did we know, Peruvian hot sauce, like just about everything else in Peru- is made out of high quality cocaine.

I guess I should have been a little skeptical , since the hot sauce was white and came with a complimentary 100 dollar bill.

Leo pulled me over and said, "you wanna know how we ended inception?"

He did a whopper line, and pulled out his totem and spun it.

I shit you not, that thing spun for what seemed like ages, In fact, I don't remember it falling over...

Its time for us to have a toast

I am back

Where was I?

Xmas land.

But I am here again, and it is almost 2011.

A year closer to the end of the world. Signs of life slipping away have become apparent in every corner of the world.

South and North Korea Fighting Like little girls.

Cables being released by Swiss Sex offenders showing the truly bad ones are GOV officials

Justin Bieber

Yes

The world is coming to an end, and if thats not enough proof, check out the movie 2012, look @ who is president

See any similarities with reality?

Look closely....

See it?

Matching American  Flag Pins

Call John Cusack and that Chick who played the bitch in saving silverman, Amanda Peet

we got a boat to catch.

So we are all gonna die. Celebrate as hard as you can this NYE. </b> it will be your last </b>

Obsessed With Rejection

Im a huge Megan Fox Fan, as you can see.

I always go to this same starbucks. It is on North Ave. Across the street from a walgreens. You may know which one I speak of. I go there @ least once a day. I buy a venti coffee frappafagoo, its 4.50 every time. And everytime I pay 4.49. And then I spend about a half an hour explaining to the cashier why I should be afforded that extra penny. They were already excited by the idea of giving me an extra penny, but "NO" I tell them. I do not need their handouts. You see, there is a much greater reasons to give me my Faggacino.

Aliens

Thats right. E.T.'s. 

Fuggin Space Invaders, if you will.

They are trapped on our planet.

They need our gay coffee to get back home. It is the closest comparable substance to the rocket fuel only found on their home planet.

Without it, they are like Illegal Alien Aliens

And im not cool with that.

Coming here and stealing out jobs

giving us tips on how to better our species and earth

they took R JOBS

space aliens

Go back to space mexico

Weather Underwear

My nose, is sniffy, yet sneezy. It is stuffed, yet is running. And very very red.

My throat feels like a horse has walked on my face

I guess thats why they call it horse...or....hoarse ?

fuck, my head feels like nails are jumbling around in it...and i went to bed @ like ten lastnight...you you know im not talking about a hangover...

I think im allergic to going to bed @ a normal time.

FML


OHHH

RIGHHHH

THEY INVENTED NYQUIL

YUMMM