So you are reading this. I do not know why, but I thought I'd let you know what your are doing.
You are probably wondering WHY you are reading this.
here are ten completely true reasons why you should keep checking up on this blog every so often.
1.) you totally will grow four inches on to your cock
yes, this blog like everything else on the internet can and will grow your cock four inches, only if you click here. virus.
2.) learn how to make millions!
as you keep following my documented shinanigans, you will notice your bank account increasing by 2,000 dollars a day! all you have to do is click here! virus.
3.) I'm like ten times more interesting then tucker max
and if you meet me (oh you should be so lucky) you won't get the taste of douche in your mouth. (something that all tucker max fans seem to have in common after meeting tha dude.
4.) I am not canadian!
5.) I will treat you and your lucky companion on a all paid vacation to my house!
where you will be able to leisurly clean my shit! how fucking fun???!?
6.) I LOVE YOU LONG TIME
'nuff said.
I'm not much of a blogger, but I currently have a lot of time on my hands, so I figure... what the hell, right?
ReplyDeleteI hope that this blog is highly lucrative because I'm mostly in it for the money. My other reasons for writing something that most of the world will probably never read is to pick up some fine ass women :P and to get some fame and recognition for the polished pile of shit this will become.
Someone once told me, "you can polish shit as much as you want, but it is still just a big ol' hunk o' poopie." Well, I'm hear today to knock that fucking notion out of your mind. Think for a minute about what you eat everyday, your life-giving sustenance... (anybody wanna guess this one? ... please, feel free to answer... ok, you weren't fast enough, so I will clear up this muggy matter.) FOOD and WATER. Okay, hopefully there is not shit in our water, but there sure as hell is in our food. Ever heard of fertilizer? Well, it's a mixture of shit, that we lay down in our fields to produce nearly everything that we consume. For example, you drink a soda... it's mostly high fructose corn syrup. They basically took some corn, probably heated it up, derived some shit (YES I WILL USE THE TERM LOSELEY) from it, added some shit too it... and Crack! You're sippin' that stuff straight into your stomach via your handy dandy esophagus.
If anyone tells you the world doesn't run on shit, they are kindly lying to you and you are believing it blindly.
Basically, what I'm trying to say here is that we are all shit living in a shitty world, but it's not something to get all depressed about.
So, if you hear one more person say, "life is so shitty," tell them "to jump off a fucking skyscraper and spare us all the shit."
So, even though you are probably knee deep in shit right now, don't forget to follow this blog. Let's spread shit everywhere to lighten up everyone's load.
Ben, your fucking nuts
ReplyDelete